Question about mom and alcoholism?
Question by i am mclovin. 8]: Question about mom and alcoholism?
Ok, so my dad recently told me that about 10 years ago, when i was only about 6 or 7, my mom had a really bad drinking problem. She was in rehab and AA. I remember going to AA with her when she couldn’t get a babysitter but she always told me it was to quit smoking (which she did, she hasn’t smoked in years) and, being young, I believed her. Now, this news has come as a complete and total SHOCK and to top it off, my dad told me that it has again become a problem over the summer and might still be a problem. Remember how shocking it was that she had a problem in the first place? Well, imagine that doubled. That is how shocked I am now. I am normally able to uncover this kind of stuff or at least tell when something is going on. When my parents’ marriage was falling apart, when my grandma had cancer, when my uncle went to rehab, I was able to tell either exactly what was happening or at the very least that SOMETHING was going on but this is the first time that I was COMPLETELY taken off guard and it got me to thinking. I have noticed that my mom doesn’t drink but I just assumed she outgrew her drinking years I guess, considering she is almost 55 but she has drank, especially in the past year and usually she lets me taste what she is having. Not a lot by any means, just a sip to taste it but she always tells me not to tell dad and I always assumed it was because my dad has told me that he doesn’t want me drinking anything at all but now I realize the real reason. Now, normally it is wine or champagne at a party or wedding, nothing heavy, but a few weeks ago we went to my neighbors house and my neighbor offered her something to drink, wine or something, but instead she went straight for this vodka stuff (I’m not sure what kind it was but I know it was strong) and mixed it in her tea. At the time I didn’t know anything about her drinking problem, I didn’t even suspect anything, but this was really really wierd. She pretty much chugged it down but I didn’t think much of it… until now. Again she let me have a sip and told me not to tell dad and I didn’t but now that I know she is suffering from alcoholism (I can’t even bring myself to call her an alcoholic) I don’t know if I should tell someone and it really has me worried, I mean REALLY worried. This has all come on very very fast and I’m still really shocked about the whole situation. I honestly feel like its all a dream, I never would have suspected. What should I do?
Best answer:
Answer by CathRun
I am not sure what you CAN do or what you WANT to do. It sounds like your father is aware and is trying to handle the situation. I wouldn’t let her drive or get in a car with her even if she seems sober. Keep the lines of communication open with your dad. Isn’t there a group for kids of alcoholics that you could maybe get involved in? Other than that I would let the adults handle it. Tell your dad if you suspect her drinking.
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millstone7201 says:
Bless your heart… I know this is really tough on you. First of all, Alcoholism IS a disease… it NEVER goes away. The “sneaking” around to get some is part of it… I “abused” alcohol for quite some time and took myself to a rehab… I drink a few beers a week (again) yet I control it now…kinda getting a low tolerance..I took myself to rehab because I started having blackouts and abused my husband!! Around my own child and STEP-children… I was under a lot of pressure and stress that is unimaginable…I did not want to lose my family..I took myself…I learned very quick what was causing me to “drown” out my “feelings that I did not know how to handle”…. Her giving you a “sip”?… Kinda like getting a guilt trip off of her shoulders…sad… I don’t know whether you have watched the celebrity rehab show with Dr. Drew.. you should.. on VH1… BUT! Go to drugfree.org and I am sure you will get all the info you need and help for you and your Mom… It’s a FAMILY disease…everyone is affected by it. It’s not anyone’s fault at all…remember that OK? You are so kind and I wish MY son was more like you… My oldest son abuses alcohol and drugs and my younger son tells me (because my health is failing) that I need to go to rehab… My oldest son beat up on me a couple of months ago, I had him arrested, yet my youngest son won’t say anything to HIM about REHAB…just puts me down and that his brother would never hit me… what a nightmare!! They are “co-dependents”…. ANYWAY! Check out http://www.drugfree.org…hmmm, I’ve been meaning to and now I just might!… Thanks for the reminder… Stay safe OK?… Don’t take the sips… you can do without them I can tell…Life gets tougher as you get older and you don’t need to even “try” a “sip” OK?… Will say some prayers for you and your Mom…
Justice says:
Alcoholism is a very serious disease. I know my dad was an alcoholic his whole life and it was alcohol that killed him. I hate to put it that bluntly but it’s true. You need to tell your dad about your mothers drinking so that they are able to address the issue. If your dad doesn’t know what is going on then he has no way to help her with her addiction.
You should encourage her to go to AA meetings again. If rehab is an option I suggest that as well. Sometimes it takes A LOT of help from family and friends to stop drinking. Lying for your mom will only make things worse.
Please talk to her and your dad so that she can seek the treatment that she needs. It would also be great if you and your dad went to the AA meetings with her. Show her that you are willing to support her through this difficult time in her life.
I know this is really hard and the meetings will give you a place to vent your feelings and frustrations as well. Good luck and God bless.
Taf says:
You are not responsible to stop your mom drinking. It is not your problem. Your problem is accepting that you have a mom who may have a problem. Put it into perspective and get on with your life.
Take care of yourself.
I am 26 yrs sober.
chicaa baby says:
oh im sorry hun but i have the same problem except its my dad and not my mom. my dad was worse, he’d hurt me and my mother, well my mom had talked to him and told him that if he didn’t stop and go get help, we would leave him and never come back. he agreed and he went to therapy, he doesn’t drink anymore but one i wish i did when he still drank was tell someone. not talking about it made me crazy, literally.u should talk to ur mom when she’s not drunk. tell her that u no about it and that u want to help her. this means that u care about her and that u want her to be safe. keeping this all inside is not healthy.